The Midlife Nurse

So I’m reading a 13th century crime drama fiction book. Love my crime novels and this author in particular I find a lovely read because the murders are simplistic and not very gory and I can really imagine the scene and picture life in the medieval times. There are lots in the series but it’s taken me to book four to remind myself at each book beginning of the main characters and what happened in the book before. It’s become tougher which is such a shame! Anyway tonight I thought I’d watch master chef (what happened to something with loads of sex and violence 😂) and Do a crossword (if I start knitting socks next – shoot me). Anyway I looked at it. Across, down, one by one. Couldn’t answer a single one. Not even “a junction between nerve cells”. I’m a nurse. Seriously. I can’t even remember whether I could have done crosswords easily before menopause. What if I’m not menopausal and I’m making it up and I’m actually not as bright as I thought I was? Maybe menopause is an excuse? It feels like everything is just shutting down bit by bit like a slow motion domino effect. I woke up yesterday and could hardly put one foot in front of the other – the aching and stiffness was so incredible. I felt like giving up. My day. My job. My life. Ok so my parents died in their early 50’s, but do I have to?!!! That’s how some days feel. But other days I’m my best version! It’s like I can be two different people from one day sometimes one hour – to the next. Crazy. I must sound like such a weirdo. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m a stupid weirdo. Check in with me tomorrow. If it’s a good day – I’ll be the best nurse, mum, woman that you’ll ever meet – oozing beauty, confidence and knowledge. That’s just how I roll.