The Midlife Nurse

New year is the opportunity to welcome change, believe good things will happen and the “old” you can be reformed.

I love new year. The idea that so many exciting possibilities can come your way is just inspiring. I have always felt it was a time for reinvention and over the years have embraced resolutions, mood boards, positive attitudes and refused to allow any post Christmas “bah humbuggers” to rain on my “new year – new me” parade.

This year has, like every year, begun with the usual long haul to pay day, the realisation of how much money was spent at Christmas and the obligatory overindulgence, weight gain and persistent hangover.

Generously ladle over a dose of sleeplessness, covid and goodness knows what other viruses that perpetually remain in circulation, plus menopausal self doubt, and what happens?

The wonderful vision of new opportunities vanishes just like that.

Which brings me to share how the 1st of 52 shining weeks of opportunity and fabulousness ahead panned out for me….

My nursing career took a different turn. No bad news – progression and reflection in nursing is a fundamental process. Especially when menopausal anxiety and yet-to-be-managed new health conditions dictate. Can I remain where I am? Can I remain a nurse? It’s all come to a head, and at 53 – it’s a bit scary. What else can I do? Maybe a different Katie will emerge from the clinical embers of what I had expected of myself. But not through choice.

Situationships – a thing? – Given my track record of wayward husbands, errant boyfriends, and losing the love of my life, recent events suggest it might be time to look within …. 🙄😳 definitely giving me food for thought!!

The financial bricks of stability that I have been slowly building for over a year were knocked down sufficiently enough for me to wonder what the heck I am going to do next.

Throw in offspring who appear to be facing their own concerns and really need the input of a present and stable parent (anyone know where I get one of those from? 🙄) and a heavy dose of virus that is NOT covid (seriously. In a pandemic, only I could get a virus that ISN’T the one the entire population of the world is getting).

5 days. That’s how long it took for ALL the wheels to fall off my new year – new me wagon. JUST 5 DAYS.

So, at the helm of my wheel-less wagon ……..

I went straight out to get drunk with some girlfriends, and cheersed my way through shots, cocktails and Prosecco with great aplomb.

And then ……. I ran away to my friend who lives 5 hours drive away.

A couple of days later, I lay in the dark, asking myself who I am and how on Earth I got to this point.

More importantly…. “what am I going to do about it?”

I talked it through. With whoever listened. My friends have broad shoulders and I am a huge communicator (too communicative one could argue).

And after a lot of talking, crying, offloading, laughing, walking ….. you get the picture…….

I had a plan …..

I made a pact with one friend that we will go deep with emotions, analyse, journal, cry if needed but share ….. share ….. share.

I planned a number of nights IN with different groups of friends to laugh and have fun, with the emphasis on saving money. AND cut down on the booze and desserts.

I’m a pretty good nurse. New health challenges and menopause has created a new me, still capable, still knowledgeable, still functioning, just different. I’m just fortunate that although there may be little in the way of policy for menopause in the workplace, my management are pretty special, and are incredibly supportive.

MENOPAUSE ……. My journey will continue with more blogging and more videos and more fun! No fencing in this chick with hot flushes and night sweats! (Just don’t mention the low self esteem or I’m not worthy feeling 🙄….. man. That feeling has GOT to go).

Relationships? Love? Let’s just make this time about me shall we? ❤️

And through gritted teeth ……. I have sold my soul to a fitness regime – exercise here I come ……. 😨😩🤯 6 months to a new improved “SuperKatie” 🙄😂

Truth be told, I am an incredible lover. I am a fantastic parent. I am a great nurse. And after allowing space for a new year mini menopausal meltdown I have dusted myself off and started January again, with my original planned positive attitude that will make 2022 …..

FABULOUS ❤️

I’m ready to blaze my glory trail …… Who’s with me 😉