The Midlife Nurse

The problem with midlife is that nobody really prepares you for it. 

Midlife is where you finally gain the wisdom you strived for. The problem is, you occasionally forget where you put it.

Midlife arrives like an uninvited guest.  One minute you are striding across the office, an accomplished career in your wake; you have raised a family, created a home and juggled financial responsibility with poise and grace.

Then, what seems like suddenly, you want your pyjamas and slippers,  to binge watch Netflix with an M&S ready meal and be in bed by 8pm.

Your career, your adult children and partner, and likely elderly parents if they are still around, all want a piece of you; yet what seemed manageable and achievable only yesterday, is now overwhelming.

And the biggest question of all is “where did I put my glasses”?

You thought you would have it all figured out by this age, yet now you are here, what needs figuring out is different; and somehow harder.

The job description changed, and no one told you.

We are in danger of seeing midlife as a downward slope, your usually reliable system starts glitching at the most inopportune moments and your software keeps updating without notice, nor an instruction manual.

There is a plus side though; almost as overnight as the hormone shift felt, comes an overwhelming feeling of disinterest in what held you accountable before.  Pleasing others, considering words carefully, being mindful of those who may need you to pull out your performing monkey persona.

You realise in midlife that what is happening around you, is actually not your circus, and they are definitely not your monkeys.

Suddenly you think; “ do I want to be perfect, or do I want to be present?” and “does this serve me?” Your values become clearer, you become more confident in setting your boundaries and much less concerned about other people’s expectations of you.

We attempt to “get older” in our own way, but society tells us it’s too late for choice. 

Post menopausal women are trying to stay afloat in a young persons world, yet our younger selves – and in fact –  all women – strive to be liked, perfect, to grab every opportunity that comes along, and fight every battle like their future depends on it.

Midlife is about decluttering unnecessary information.  Realising imperfection does not need to be fixed. Mistakes and detours, are where wisdom, resilience and authenticity thrive.

It is ok not to be liked by everyone.

It is ok to pick your battles and walk away from the majority of them.

Imperfect is perfection in itself.

And the only opportunity you need to grab with both hands is that of finding the kind of peace, calm, and sanity that suits your purpose and no one else’s.