The Midlife Nurse

What does “perfect” look like?

Much of our stress comes from expecting things to go according to plan. Perfection is in reality, a moving target – a target which we change constantly. One day perfect can look one way, and another day, it looks completely different.

We strive for perfection in life – perfect skin, perfect home, perfect job. Perfect roast dinner, even.

Midlife is full of contradictions, for instance;

You spend years wanting a quiet house, a tidy home. Then when the house becomes tidy and quiet, you miss the noise (possibly not the mess though!).

You finally have a bit more freedom once the children leave home but what do you do with it?

The reality is that midlife can be challenging. The “perfect” life you had envisioned in your future at 24 years of age, has over the decades, been chewed up and spat out. OK you may have achieved some of your ambitions, and they look exactly like you thought they would. But how much of life just seemed to “happen” around you? Clouding that veil of perceived perfection?

There will have been changing roles, empty nesting, career questions, menopause, ageing parents, shifting relationships and unexpected life turns.

Lets not mention the physical changes. The crows feet, “laughter” lines, sagging eyelids/boobs/knees and a turkey neck. What happened to pert and perky? Wasn’t that what we were, when we were criticising our selves harshly in our 20’s and 30’s? And here we are doing it all over again.

It needs to stop. We need to look hard at ourselves and our lives.

WE ARE PERFECTION.

Just look at what has been achieved in our existence? Did you give life to a human? Have you steered teams to success? Built a home and financially supported other humans? Surely that in itself is perfection? It’s just that we can’t bring ourselves to frame it that way.

Your figure and face are a road map of the life you have lived, and if you are still walking this earth, you are alive. Perfect! Or lucky. Whatever way you look at it, be proud of yourself for making it this far!

If you can’t reframe the narrative to incorporate having achieved perfect into your life, how about asking; “What am I looking forward to today?”

It doesn’t have to be something big, but it is important to be able to set “good enough” goals if you can’t refer to what you have achieved or set out to achieve as perfection.

Life was never meant to be a flawless performance; it was meant to be lived.

The mistakes, the unexpected detours and the dreams that changed along the way are not evidence of failure, they are evidence of a life fully lived. So, let go of the impossible standard. Celebrate the wins, forgive the imperfections, and give yourself permission to be wonderfully, beautifully human. Because in the end, a life that is real will always be far more fulfilling than a life that is perfect.