The Midlife Nurse

When I was in my 20’s and 30’s, and even at points in my 40’s, every job I applied for, I was offered. It appeared that I had an amazing streak of luck.

Once I hit my 50’s however, I applied for three jobs – and was rejected from all three.

It could be argued that I had been successful at securing those jobs because I only applied for roles that I was was well suited to, hence achieving every goal I set, and now, the hunger for progression up the career ladder no longer exists, and I strive for more out of habit, or because it is the “done” thing.

Alternatively, it could be that success is no longer achievable for a woman of my age. Technological advances that are beyond me, a scoring system that is impossible to define, and bright young things with the hunger that I once possessed oozing from their pores striding ahead of me on a mission to boldly climb several rungs at a time.

Seeking more of the same, is not always the aim, but old habits and familiarity may be what drives us because we are afraid to try something new, something different, or in my case, identify what I really want and pursue it with vigour and confidence.

The humiliation of failure – or at least perceived failure that is – can sometimes be too much to bear and we shut down and hide from retrying; from putting our reputation or feelings on the line.

But rewards don’t always come from success; the reward is becoming someone who is brave enough to try. Again and again.

Every time we take a risk, we strengthen our confidence. Not because the outcome is perfect, but because we then prove we can handle uncertainty.

And perhaps the most empowering attitude of all is this: I may be scared. I may not know how it will turn out. I may even doubt myself sometimes. But I refuse to let fear have the final say in my story.

I will say that again; I refuse to let fear have the final say in my story.

The past mistakes, are not proof of future failures. What if previous attempts were preparation rather than failure?”

Every expert was once a beginner. We don’t need to excel immediately. We simply need to start.

Small steps build confidence. So this about recognising and acknowledging the courage we had to draw upon in the past when making difficult decisions, challenges that we have survived – in fact thrived on, in the face of adversity. We have all overcome really tough times – I didn’t get 5 decades through life without some trauma and pain – the evidence of which resides permanently in my body, my mind and my attitude.

Midlife has a wonderful way of teaching us that nobody really knows what they’re doing.

Most people are figuring things out as they go, and no one feels truly ready to take that leap of faith. So, just leap. And observe the confidence arriving in the wake of that leap.

Imagine yourself years from now. Which regret would feel heavier? The discomfort of trying? Or … The disappointment of never finding out what might have happened?

Don’t allow fear to make or lead decisions. What if fear isn’t really about failing, but about the disappointment we feel in ourselves for not succeeding?

Many people in midlife stop pursuing things not because they lack ability, but because they want certainty before they begin. But certainty never comes first.

Courage comes first.